If there’s anything in life more painful than being lied to, I haven’t discovered it. Every time my heart has been broken, it’s been because someone lied to me. Think of some relational disappointment or conflict and see if it’s true for you, too.
As a parent, I’ve tried to instill in my son the importance of telling the truth. Suck it up and take the consequences like a man. It’s always better to tell the truth. Lying will get you in trouble. It’s more exhausting to keep up with the lies you’ve told than to just come clean with the truth at the beginning. These are staple monologues in the repertoire of a parent.
There’s a proverb that says, “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips”. This is because I can take the truth from someone I care about, even if the truth is difficult to hear. The same level of honesty isn’t appropriate for all interactions, however. The reason an honest answer is like a kiss on the lips is because you don’t kiss everyone on the lips! I don’t need to give everyone in my life the same level of gut-wrenching, authentic sharing. But the more intimate the relationship, the more important honesty is.
When have you discovered the importance of hard truths in relationships?